halloween night. i had the best night ever! let me explain...

i worked from 2PM until about 8:30. long story about the drama of me having to work on halloween (considering who i live with). dale is a dick to me all night because hes stressed about everything he has to do that day. i don't even want to see his band because i'm so pissed and tired from working, but out of love i go and support him.

thats the situation.

SO! it's about 9PM and dales band plays. my boss, jerry who owns the bar we're at, gives me the head-nod insinuating i come to the back of the restaurant to talk. he tells me there has been 4 police calls about noise complaints and i should go and tell dale to stop playing. fuck. i see where the night is going already. i ask jerry why hes telling ME and not telling dale. he think dale will have less of a reaction if i tell him (which is true).

dale and his band pack their shit up and bring it to the van... or bus... or somewhere. i see hes about to leave and i'm about to jump into the bus to get a ride home. nope. he starts driving away. i'm screaming in the middle of the street "DALE!!! WHAT THE FUCK! STOP THE FUCKING BUS! DAAAALE! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!!" and he didn't stop. looked me dead in the eye and drove away.

so i walk back into jerry's bar, crying. i have no phone because i lost it 3 days ago and no ride and i'm fucking CRYING (i almost never cry, i am horribly embarrassed to be seen crying) plus my love just fucked me and i didn't want to be there in the first place and i'm tired as hell. you can see my anguish.

it gets better.

i have one of the bartenders call me a taxi. the second i get back i'm all set to rip dale a new one then drive to the lake so sleep in my car. i come inside and take a piss, dale isn't home!

i know hes at dolls (a bar) and i speed over and storm inside, i scream "WHAT THE FUCKING FUUUUCK WAS THAT?? YOU FUCKED ME!!!" i was kind of drunk. he fights with me a little. get this... his reason for ditching me was because i didn't help him load the bus with his bands equipment!!!!! i didn't know i was suppose to and had i known i would have helped. i gave him the double middle finger and said "fuck you, dude" and walked out. yeah i'm a total bitch. fuck it.

i go to my car and drive to the lake and drink my burnettes pink lemonade vodka to put my mind at ease.

it gets even better!!!

since i live in wisconsin and its fucking freezing all the time, i had my heat on. i didn't plan on sleeping in my car so i didn't plan on grabbing a few blankets. i woke up at 7 and my cars battery was completely dead.

dale knows i go to the lake when i'm pissed so he came and we screamed at eachother for about 60 seconds before i slammed my door, he left. i wandered around the lake, took a piss in a bush, and started falling asleep again until dale came back, maybe two or three hours later asking why i haven't come back yet. i say "i already told you, my car is dead". he tells me to get into his car where we go and get jumper cables.

it gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jumper cables dont work since i have no gas so we have to go the the gas station, borrow a canister, and fill up my car. i finally get out of there and go strait to bed.

one more thing.

since i was so fucking pissed off in the morning i decided to blow off work. i might be fired.

for halloween i'm going to work as natalie, shes gonna be me. most of our customers are regulars so they know us both. nat and i are completely different which is why it makes it funny. shes a cheerleader, wears designer clothes, very preppy and very tan. i on the other hand am more pale than i've ever been in my life, have red hair, wear shitloads of eyeliner, and dress very dark. i am not depressed in any way, in fact i'm extremely happy, it's just my style.

the fun part is that we're both total fucking freaks. we have our own noises and dances and songs we sing and we constantly get weird looks. its awesome. i think that's why we're so close even though we're so different. sometimes you meet someone and you just... understand them.

aaaaanyway i'm trying to pick out what i want her to wear tomorrow. we're being exaggerated versions of eachother so i'm going to make her pale as shit and i guess i'm wearing fucking pigtails and ugg boots with a pink mini skirt... oh god...

i love my dale and his weird ways

i'm at a fair, i find this weird booth that says "eat your own shit and win a prize!". i'm thinking this must be a joke until this couple walks up and accepts the challenge. dude takes a dump the size of a baby and holds it like sub sandwich. he takes a few bites but can't finish.

now, theres this other guy i was hanging out with. hes eating a burrito or something and grabs a bell pepper, uncut. he swallows the entire thing whole. he goes to the shit booth and tries the challenge. he took a dump and the whole pepper was there right in the middle of the gigantic sized crap. he puts the giant piece of shit on a plate and pulls out the pepper. everyone around us laughs. he eats the whole shit and licks the plate clean!

i wake up from this dream gagging. i almost had to run to the bathroom to throw up. my dreams are getting more disgusting and vivid each night.

beginning to believe i'm going a little insane. i mean this is a literal sense. i find myself doing and thinking the most bizarre things.. for example my water episodes or the out of body experiences i feel when i see someone pulled over by a cop on the side of the road. i won't go into detail. i think it might have something to do with stress, guilt, or genuinely being a weirdo. maybe drinking. more and more i hear "you're a fucking freak", usually not worded like that but sometimes.

there was a murder (homicide to be politically correct) in town last night. a 50-year-old man was shot in the chest after four men broke into his home allegedly looking for drugs and money.

the mans wife called 911 (i heard the call on the radio this morning when they aired the press conference) and it was just... odd. she said her husband was bleeding and the men were still in her house with guns pointed at her. so the men were aware that she was on the phone with the police...? she sounded very calm and collected during the entire conversation with the officer. i'm thinking to myself "if someone broke in here i'd be freaking the fuck out. if someone was hurting dale i was be absolutely hysterical. my 911 call would not be informative, it'd be frantic".

scary times.

http://www.kenoshanews.com/home/single_gunshot_wound_killed_brighton_man_6554301.html

trying to get an article posted in the local newspaper. i am NOT a writer (as much as i would like to be...). i simply do not have the writing skills. what kills me is my brother has got the brains and i got the life skills... or something like that. if i got kicked out i would find a new place to live within a day. i can manipulate whereas he can write, do math... basically outwit anyone. why not me?? we have the same genetic code but i turned into the runt dumbass. if i could do anything with my life i would be a journalist. i'm good at other things though... i mean i must be since everyone comes to me with their problems, problems i clearly have no knowledge on. i was single for 2 years and the girls constantly asked me for relationship advice. i ask "why are you asking me? i'm the most disfunctional one here when it comes to relationships" but they still wanted advice, probably because there was no one else to talk to.

at work i am extremely assertive and i try to play the role of manager. i demand respect and because i act this way people treat me as if i AM the manager (some, not all). at school i'm the same way. whether i'm nervous, shy, scared, i suck it up and give the appearance that i know exactly what i'm saying and i try to make people back down to me. i'm not sure why i do this, maybe because i like to be in control of situations. we had this speech to do a few days ago and i was so fucking nervous but i walked up there, grabbed the podium, and (this is so cheesy) i thought to myself "this is my room for 2 minutes. i own this room, it's all mine" and gave my speech. i got 50 points out of 50. my teacher told me i should consider a career in politics!!!!!! i don't want to do that but i accepted the compliment anyway. apparently politics falls hard on speeches and presenting yourself as unmovable, persuasive, strong, and direct. eye contact makes a huge difference.

perhaps if i took more writing classes i could get up to speed. i don't know. you either have it or you don't. richard, ariel and josh, you are the most talented writers i know. enjoys it! (motherfuckers) ;D

me: "blah blah blah dale and i this and that blah blah"
dave wade: "wait a minute... you and dale LIVE together?"
me: "well yeah, you didn't know that?"
dave wade: "how could you live with him? hes old enough to be your grandpa!"
me: "yeah dave... and the reason we broke up the first time is because of people like you"
dave wade: "waaaait a minute, so you guys are like... together?"
me: "yeah" (as i'm giving him a dirty look)
dave wade: "well i've heard of an age gap relationship but shit, this takes the cake"

in my head-
FUCK YOU!!!

i don't care how weird it is or how creepy it sounds but i am in completely in love with dale who is way older than me. we fit hand and hand since day one and i saw past age. he compliments me very well and we just... fit. if you heard the story or saw us together you would understand completely. everyone who knows us gets it. begin to judge yourself before you start judging others because love is love in any shape or form.

predictable doesn't always mean boring
lust doesn't always mean love
near doesn't always mean close
new doesn't always mean exciting
different doesn't always mean better
far doesn't always mean distant
knowing everything doesn't make you wise
knowing the truth doesn't make you superior
knowing your problem doesn't always solve it
sitting between your past and your future doesn't mean your in the present

at work we have this little black box. whenever we take an order for delivery we write it on carbon paper, we take the carbon paper copy and put it in the box for proof of the order... for proof that the drivers aren't stealing... etc... whatever. the box is locked.

us girls, being boooored, being naaaaasty, we like to put weird stuff in the box for the bosses to find. it's almost always me putting stuff in the box because i find it the funniest and most of the other chicks are afraid or something. the first thing we ever put in was lizzie's condom wrappers. all night i was waiting for jerry to open the box but he didnt that night for whatever reason. a few nights later i put this raunchy abortion pamphlet that i got at the fair in the box. someone found it and pinned it on the wall. third thing is this art piece of clown sex i found in a book. finally one night dale was sitting at the bar and frank walks up to him and says "clown porn? really?" and dale had no idea what hes talking about so frank explains... dale responds with "hahahah that it totally something i would do but this time it wasen't me". i was biting my lip so hard so i wouldnt bust out laughing and frame myself.

anyway, the point of this is that last night we were looking for something cool to put in there and adriana wanted to add some condom wrappers that she had in her purse, so i throw them in. there is a problem. as i put them in the box i feel a ring in one of them. they fall in to the box before i can grab it back. i stomp over to adriana and ask "...was there a used condom in one of those?" and she replies "uhh.. i didn't think so. i guess alex puts them back in the wrapper. hmm, weird". AHHHHHHHHHHHH im freaking out for the rest of the night trying to find a way to get the goddamn things out of the box. a wrapper, to me, is funny... but an actual used condom is crossing the line.

i was hoping to leave before the condoms were discover but frank finds them. he says "looks like someone had a good night" and walks away. PHEEEEW!! i've been getting on peoples nerves (i think at least) so i guess its not a good time to be playing pranks and pushing buttons. well not those types of pranks.

dale and i went to a costume shop called JJ Blinkers in antioch where he got $100 for advertisement on his radio show and i got $20 worth of prank material. i bought a new shock lighter, an exploding pen, a fake cockroach, and fake money (to leave on tables to make them think they got a huuuge tip). ooooh it's gonna be a fun night..